The Fourth Screw: The Taboo of Beauty

The saying goes, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”  Well my eyes should not be criticized and judged.  My eyes have beheld each of these men and I found them all beautiful.  A lot of people find my eyesight questionable.  I wear contacts though if you do not know, so I hope that if you are looking for an answer as to why, that that can justify my vision.  But all of these men are beautiful and deserve to be on my list.  And I do not apologize for it.  This is all subjective anyway.  But please feel free to agree with my perception at any time.


Now before you start if you still need to learn your lesson then watch the episode of The Twilight Zone entitled, “Eye of the Beholder.”


♥   ♥   ♥
This is for Valentines day—because everyone deserves to be loved!
♥   ♥   ♥

DEDICATION:
                                                    DAVID SPADE 
 
This whole list started because of this man, so special nods to him aside from the list.  I was watching The Ellen Degeneres Show and David Spade was the guest, so I decided to make "my attractions to atypical beauties" list.  So special snaps to the man that created this hottie:

Thank you, JOE DIRT!!
And love you, David Spade!!

♥   ♥   ♥

From Least Taboo to Most: 

JASON BATEMAN
I am sorry but he is a hunk and a stud muffin!  And in the 80s he was totally a Dream Boat Jason.  And he is in my personal top five all time celebrity loves.  So the only reason he is on this list is because my dad does not think he is as delicious as I do. 
I do not understand his logic.

KIEFER SUTHERLAND
This was my Mom's pick for who she thinks I need to rethink in his degree of hotness.  I have one thing to say to that: 
I know he is the bad guy here in Stand By Me and he is being such a dick and picking on River Phoenix—my ultimate number one—but listen to that snake hissing voice!  It is hard to hate someone who looks that good in black, and who would look just as good without it. 
And besides, he is still workin' it:

CHRISTIAN SLATER
I know what people think—he is kind of creepy, sounds like JackNick (Jack Nicholson, whom by the way my best friend is in love with, both young AND OLD versions, and whom created the nickname I am using for him), kind of looks like JackNick too, and once grabbed a girl's ass on the street.  All of these things are true, but I will tell you something—if I were that girl on the street I would not have complained.  

AZIZ ANSARI
 

My dark and handsome deep chocolate love.  He looks good in a suit, in casual clothes, holding a microphone, lounging in an alley bordered by grass, next to a bear, and as a genie illustration. So what's your problem?! 

BILL MURRAY

People need to get it together and see what I see.  We all know he is brilliant, but we must all know how high his sex appeal is—at any age, and with any form of facial hair.  So he wins the prize (he's my JackNick).  And there is no reason to think other wise.  He is G-d and he is the man!

PETER GALLAGHER 
 
No one ever gets this, and I do not understand how they do not get it.  After all he was the love obsession, infatuation, single-serving crush of Sandra Bullock’s in While You Were Sleeping.  If it is the eyebrows, then get a life!  That is the definitive of what makes him sexy, not to mention the seductive tone of his voice, and his lips!

CHEVY CHASE
He is a tall bumbly dimple machine and I love him despite the fact that he has aged and that people rarely find his appeal.  But take a good long stare into this tall and tan glass of water and salivate over his gorgeousness. 
 
And know that he is smokin', once again, because of this classic scene:

FRANK ZAPPA
 

He should just be considered sexy because of the eccentricity of his character, persona, music, mind, and all around being. But of course not many people see the sizzling frequencies of his features.

PETER PAN
So yes he is a cartoon character, but everytime I say he is hot people look at me like I am a pedophile.  And because he NeverNever grows up—never-mind, enough said, I guess.
Still, he is the hottest flying Irish Elf that I have ever seen!

SHAUN WHITE

He is athletic, has great hair, has a compact and cute little body, what else is there to love?! And yet people still remark that he is a mini-Carrot Top.  You better rethink this people! because he is just as hot as Scott Thompson—even more so.
 

AXL ROSE…BUT STAND CORRECTED, I am attracted to THIS AXL ROSE!
Not the one that got old, grew corn rows, got a light face lift and cheek implants on cheekbones that were damn near perfect to begin with.  But when Guns N' Roses were in their prime Axl was a fucking stud!  So he is so high on this list why?  Because it is not necessarily his physical appearance that people find unattractive, but his personality is sometimes off putting.  But hey, that is what you get from a rock star with bipolar tendencies. Still, he is pretty to look at!
 


COURTNEY GAINS(ES) 
I will stand by him till the day I die.  He was Malachi in Stephen King’s Children of the Corn and although he was an asshole in it, look at that mouth!! 
Plus he has a great head of hair like many others before him!  He played sidekicks and cameos in Can’t Buy Me Love, Back to the Future, and a villain in The ‘Burbs alongside Tom Hanks.  But someone should have given him a starring role as a love interest:


CARROT TOP
I get it, he has had plastic surgery and plays with toys and has taken roids (?) but he is handsome.  And if someone would have told him that he was a good looking dude, maybe he would have grown-up to not look so huge.  I do not care either way, I have had some very serious dreams that I will not relay. And I cannot wait for the day I get to see him play at the Luxor.

♥   ♥   ♥
Weird—my top five controversial loves of all time are all redheads.  I guess I like me some redheads—and here I was thinking that I dug the blondes.  Also give it up to these men, would ya—they all look super fine shirtless and in black and white, don't they?!
♥   ♥   ♥

BONUS:

Newest addition to the list: JASON SCHWARTZMAN
 
If Zachary Quinto and Josh Zuckerman had a baby

it would be Jason Schwartzman!!

                                                 DOUBLE BONUS:

 TV Packages:

NEIL FLYNN as the Janitor and JOHN C. MCGINLEY as Dr. Cox—SCRUBS:

JEREMY DAVIES as Daniel Faraday and DOMINIC MONAGHAN as Charlie Pace and HENRY IAN CUSICK as Desmond Hume—LOST:


♥   ♥   ♥HAPPY VALENTINES DAY, READERS AND FRIENDS♥   ♥   ♥
AND LOVE TO EVERY LAST ONE OF THESE SUPER FINE AND BEAUTIFUL MEN


UPDATE: Recent edition

Bill Hader

And if you need another reason why he's sexy, here it is:

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