Lulu’s Loose Screw

My mind is basically a horror movie attic filled with addicts and filing cabinets, where a ragdoll sits rocking in a rocking chair with crazy orange eyes that look in looping directions—never stopping talking, crazy thinking, tongue twirling, papers flying.  Not completely orderless or ordorless.  And the filing cabinets open and shut rapidly.  Noisy, but a weird music about the place—the combination of the doll talking, rustling papers, records cracking on a victrola, law-office filing cabinets slamming, the addicts scratching leftover bug bites, and the creaking rocking chair.  In the sweet smells of dustiness, the walls breathe a gray and pink organic.  Destroyed/Deranged Dolls

Punk-drunk Glass plate clashes crashing the tiles the linoleum the kitchen floor. The sink is dry but the metal stinks like blood stains a white T-shirt of the punk-rock sick girl with sticks in her back pocket. She folds her weapons like nunchucks in her pants bulging to the slope of her butt. Her boots are thumping down the stairs of her Rego Park apartment building a heroin-height of anxiety. She presses her thumbnail to her elbow hole popping the vein as she twists the nail in deeper digging the glistening blue wire with the shovel of her finger-nail and pulling like an IV got caught in her arm. A magician chokes somewhere on the mono-colored skinny tie she is releasing. She tugs but the scarf can pull no longer it gets stuck at the wrist. She wiggles and yanks harder until she feels the chord through her middle finger. Her surrounding digits bend down to the swollen knu

*Favorite conjunction: “so” — as in “So what!” “So this is what you mean.” "So I have been thinking..." “So what do you think about that?” and, “and so” *Stuff vs. things: THINGS *Go-to Card Game/ Card Game of choice: Egyptian Ratscrew  *Favorite pattern: polka dots, and paisley  *Writing weapon of choice: colored pens *Favorite Holiday: Halloween!!! *Go-to song to hum when bored: the  Doug  theme song  *Go-to doodle to draw when bored: spirals or flowers or flowers that stem into a spiral  *Apples vs. Oranges: Mangoes *Favorite animals: pigs, foxes, owls, and sometimes octopi (a,e,I,o,u and sometimes y) *Makeup vs. Jewelry: Jewelry, any day! *Go-to breakfast food: EGGS *Go-to scary movie: IT — which they are remaking                       http://www.shortlist.com/entertainment/films/stephen-kings-it-to-be-made-into-two-films *Favorite planet: Mars; the red one with the aliens 

Have you ever put something back in an inappropriate place?   Before your dirty “that’s what she said/ he said” minds run wild, let me clarify. And before I start, mind you, I am currently coming down from a Benadryl delirium — and from a cartwheel high in my hallway.  So I went into my bathroom to brush my teeth of the mango hairs stuck in between my teeth’s tight spaces, and instead of pumping the toothpaste on my brush I went straight for the hand soap.  Which reminded me of this time, when in a beach shower, I washed my hair with hand soap, and only knew afterwards when I told my mother.  Luckily, seconds after this white soap leaked on my toothbrush’s bristles I realized my mistake and rinsed it under hot water in the sink.  But I got to thinking, how many other times have I done things like this? After dinner in my household, I am the one who will Windex the glass table.  Countless times I have placed the spray in the refrigerator instead o

         I have tried to gain the male version of my name (Liza) recognition, in print, via urban dictionary; but they denied my inquiry because they claimed it as an “inside joke” that no one besides me, my sister, and Laura Betti  (not to mention, also, the people who helped me create the male alternative) would get or care about.          But the world must know of Lizachary !   He deserves a gift shop license plate with his name on it too!  (I’ll let the fact that you can only find my name on an assortment of arbitrary items in a hole-in-the-wall store tucked somewhere on Broadway in NYC aside).          It is Lizachary’s turn to shine!! So here is what I submitted to urban dictionary: Lizachary This is the boy version of the name "Liza," considering there is no such thing. Just attach the name "Zachary" to the end of Liza and there you have it! "Oh! do you know that little Scottish lad?" "Yes, very well. His name is Lizachar

Thursday morning.  I wake up at 10am — shower/ cook breakfast for myself (which consists of heating last night’s leftover pizza)/ edit my essay by reading it over for the hundredth time, one last time.  And might I add, patting myself on the back because it came out pretty well. 11am and I am ready to put this baby to the presses and press print.  I grab the printer from the living room to bring it into my bedroom — because as you recall my computer is hooked up to my TV — and I hook up the USB, plug the printer into the extended outlet, and I order my file to print.  I feel a smile form on my face.  I squeal in excitement. I am looking at the tiny screen on the printer and I see nothing happening.  The only recognition of the print job is the mechanical noises coming from the machine — of things moving inside ready to prepare paper. I click the icon of the cannon printer on my computer so I can cancel the printing.  I toggle over the print ordered at 11:02 and right click dele

It all started Tuesday night.  I was working on my last final paper of undergrad and I was working at the receptionist desk of a recovery center; so I had access to a computer in order to finish the essay that was due the next day by noon.               And the thing is, I had not even picked a topic yet.  So by the time work rolled around at 4 pm I was just beginning to assemble something.             Still, after writing one full page of the topic I did choose, I wanted to scrap it and start over.             By 9pm I was rushing out the door of my job, without a paper and without a topic.             9:45 I arrived home.             By midnight I was ready to write the paper.             It was gonna be an all-nighter.                        Meanwhile a few weeks back I had spilt a glass of water on my laptop, so the only way for it to work properly was if I plugged it into my TV in the bedroom and use that screen as my desktop. *Brief timeout from the story fo