Lulu’s Loose Screw

* Warning this post contains unfiltered material, so I may lose some of you.  Some things may be funny, others scary, and some might make you turn your head and shake away your cries.  But hey, I got a screw loose, right!?   I never understood why pooping should be such a taboo.  Why don’t we talk about it?  There are some hilarious stories or circumstances that arise while sitting on the toilet.  And as we all remember since childhood, everybody poops!  Here is my proof: Maybe I’ll write my own book, The Poop Chronicles, like The Vagina Monologues . I will go around to people and ask them their poop stories, their shit tales.  I have a play idea too, about the Poop Bandit—who makes public pooping something that happens in a public bathroom to something that happens on the front lawns of college universities. Here are a few more poop truths: *I once pooped out a sword *I once pooped out the Titanic; it split in half and one section sunk as the other

My dad can’t hear a word for shit. One day I asked him, “What anniversary is it for you?” meaning him and mom, he then asked me, “What animal tree are you afraid of ?”  asking subliminally if that is what I said without the strained old age “Whaaa” exiting his lips. (Old people are too lazy to add the t). Here are some pictures of what he might have meant by “animal tree” My sister and I joke that the “animal tree we are afraid of” was this tree down the block from our apartment. A tree that was littered with stuffed animals, such as these Since that “animal tree” day the hearing problem has only gotten worse.  But he claims he has 20/20 hearing. Ha! Here is the most recent misinterpretation. I ask my dad the other day: “Dad, where is that gondola ride in Las Vegas; in what hotel?” He says back to me: “The goggles you rented?” My mother chimes in: He went to a dime store to get his hearing checked.